why??

why i started to cry again..
why i start to think of him again..
why i just cant get rid of him out of my mind..
why my heart start to hurt again..
i just cant stop to think of him..

whenever i sees something that links to him my heart would start to have a sour feeling, it seems that we have been doing those things yesterday.

persistence always seems the most powerful word in my mind, but i think im wrong..i did try my best to hang on the relationship, & this the ending i get. why has it to be me? i just cant understand, how can he be so cruel to me.. he really bear to leave me alone here waiting for him to come back to me? So what if i miss him so much, he will not even have a slight idea how hurt am I.

Leaving you hasn't makes me more freedom. Leaving you makes me more miserable then before, this you should know better then me, but u choose not to admit. that's makes me more hurt then ever. Just one word from you, can make me cry the whole night.

I still remember the last night we went out. We were so furious about each other, we do not even have the chance to have a nice chat. We choose to quarrel instead of having a nice chat as we always did. But it turn out to be our last night out together.. When we have decided to go home, I don't understand why it would turn out to be in this way. I just wanted to be alone as my usual self, I really wish to find a corner & cry out myself, that's why i choose not to sit with him, i was also thinking if i would on his shoulder, that will be even better, but to my stubbornest, i choose to sit alone then i was awarded a slap from him, in front of everyone on the bus. Why can't he choose to respect me in the public.? How can he bear to hit me like that? Isn't he heartbroken at all? I went to sit alone after that and i cried throughout the whole journey home. To my surprise, he still can fall asleep & take it as nothing happens. How can he be cruel to me?? AM i really your dear, my dear?

After break up, you didn't even say 1 sorry to me..so you think you did the right thing all along? You are really very cruel with your words. Almost make me give up on you, almost. I'm really very disappointed with you, after these 2 & half years together, you can treat me not even like a normal friend. Well done!! Reflecting back of what you said is all lies?? Even we're friends, you will not throw me alone? Is that what you really mean? wow!

Maybe it really takes lots of time for me to heal. From a person that i don' t like at all, turns out to my only love. It might really take up to years........